Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Screwed by the Umstead 100 Mile Endurance Run

I have one final thing to say:
The organizers and volunteers of the Umstead 100 have ruined my life.
Completely screwed me.
What did they do?
They gave Shannon a wonderful, successful 100 miler in her first attempt. And now she is an Ultra Runner.

And me, the poor non-ultra spouse, has this to look forward to for the rest of my life:
  • Weekends of 48 hour sleep deprivation
  • Trying to get her to drink Pedialyte and watching her puke like she is an infant.
  • Changing her stinking shoes at 12 a.m.
  • Listening to her analyze race results for hours on end
  • Packing the car in the pouring rain and mud at 4 a.m.
  • Getting calls to come pick her up in the middle of training run
I guess I am partially to blame. I should have let her run "The Burning River 100" last summer, with no training, just like she wanted to. She would have gotten lost 6 times and end up starving, dehydrated, sun burned and covered with bug bites by mile 40. She would have dropped out, and I wouldn't have to worry about her running any more 100 milers.

It's 2 AM, she has run 92 miles, and she is still frickin smiling?
That's just not right.

But no. Instead the Umstead Endurance Run gave her a well supported, accessible, and friendly path to her first 100 mile finish. And now she is going to be running many, many more.

I feel most hurt by the friends who volunteered at the race and were therefore responsible, however indirectly, for getting Shannon hooked on this completely insane habit. They were enablers and dare I say even pushers.
I will be expecting an apology from all of the them, not limited to the following people:
  • Harold Hill for working Aid Station #2 and taking some fantastic photos.
  • Iris for working 2 shifts at Sally's Asylum and helping crew for Shannon and Kelly.
  • Josh for his pacing including Shannon for a lap. 
  • Ronnie and Karen for the tedious and unglamorous job of transcribing the detailed timing results.
  • Heiko for pacing 
  • Scott for working  Sally's Asylum to the wee hours of the morning.
  • Charles West for his volunteering and the great support he gave Shannon
  • Rhonda Hampton, Associate Race Director, for being a mentor to Shannon and insisting that the Umstead 100 be her first.
  • And of course, many others.
And with that, I'll wrap up this blog.
But I guess there will be another one next year, unfortunately.



  1. Hilarious! But don't blame me, I'm just the soup guy.

    Besides, I know you will be running U100 next year. You will be awesome! You will put the hurt on Mike Morton himself! (<- see, that's me being a pusher and enabler)

  2. I feel your pain. It really isn't fair!

    And how can she still be smiling at 2 am with only 8 miles to go in a 100 mile race?

    1. Frank, The .6 at the end down the path seemed like an eternity. I can assure you there were plenty of miles without smiling. That was the toughest thing I have ever encountered, mentally and physically. I can just bring it for the camera!

  3. Don't worry, I only made my girlfriend crew for the first few ultras. Now I get other people to suffer through all that.

  4. Sorry, man, I'm a natural-born goader. Pretty sure that turned up in my Myers-Briggs analysis.